• DearAmbitiousGirl

Accept People for Who They Are, Not For Who You’d Like Them To Be

Author: Tyana M.

Often times in our relationships we expect people to be the person that we’d like them to be or better yet, who society tells us they should be. This mindset has ruined many of my relationships so, I’m here to provide some informed guidance. Accept people for who they are and stop trying to mold them into who you’d like them to be.

We tend to place blanket responsibilities on individuals based on their titles. For example, we expect mothers to cook and clean, fathers to be breadwinners and provide financially and we believe that someone that we are dating should only be dating us. Now, just to clarify, I am in no way saying that I agree or disagree with these generic duties assigned by society. Although, I will say that at some point you must acknowledge that an individual is not behaving the way that you’d like them to and you should then decide how you will move forward while always putting yourself first.

My stance is this, I’ve been disappointed many times in life by family members, romantic partners, and friends. Therefore, I no longer place expectations upon people solely based on their assigned role. I’ve had people that I’ve only known for ten minutes treat me better than those I’ve known for ten years. I would hope that everyone that I allow to enter my life has the decency to treat me with respect and stay true to their word but, if they decide not to I am no longer surprised. When you remove expectation, you remove pain.

On a more positive note, there are people who are ready and willing to cherish you that would never even think of hurting you. Do not continue to settle because of comfortability or time invested in one situation. Being disrespected will never be comfortable and there is way more time left to be appreciated. There is always someone that has been waiting pamper you. When you let go of relationships that no longer serve you, you begin to make room for abundant joy.

The point is this, do not ever coerce a partner, family member or friend to do something that they do not want to do because there is someone out there that would love to do it. It is important to let all relationships manifest naturally. You must allow people to do what they want because that will tell you everything you need to know about their character.

You cannot control the actions of others. The only factor that you’re in control of is how you choose to respond. Therefore, continue to establish boundaries and standards with those in your life but also be mindful enough to discern when they are not respecting and abiding by the precedent that you’ve set. When you realize that your desires are being neglected, bow out gracefully. There is a lesson to be learned in every relationship so after you leave, identify those. Do not hold grudges and do not be bitter. You should learn to appreciate everyone’s position in your life. Stop placing your joy in the hands of others, you can choose happiness every day of the week.