• DearAmbitiousGirl

Is fear keeping you from your purpose?

Let’s start with the basic definition of fear:




noun: fear; plural noun: fears

an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

When looking at the definition, how does it make you feel?

For me, I was kind of taken aback. I took a moment and thought about all of the different things that I let fear hold me back from. I realized that I have been limiting myself for years. To think that creating a blog is dangerous, living out loud will cause pain or following my dreams could be a proposed threat to my life, is actually laughable. However, that’s how I lived my life. I let the notion of fear hold me back from pursuing things that I knew, I was meant to do.

For years, I’ve struggled to come out of the shell that I buried myself into. My reasoning was of course, fear. I was afraid of what others may say, afraid of what others may think, afraid to let anyone in and afraid to live within my truth. What I used as a security blanket was actually crippling me from becoming the person I was meant to be. I didn’t realize it until I was in my premarital counseling a few weeks before my wedding.

Our counselor asked us this question. “What is one thing that you would change about your spouse?” Of, course I had a few things to say about my husband and his cleaning habits, mixed in with some other things. However, he only had one thing to say about me. He said, “I wish my fiancé knew how amazing she is and how great she is and to stop doubting herself! Because she’s capable of doing amazing things.”

In that moment, I realized I needed to make a change. I didn’t think anyone else noticed that I was hiding. My cover was blown! I could no longer let fear control me. How would I know how successful I could be, if I never tried?

Have you ever listened to someone who is extremely successful answer this question? “How did you end up, where you are now?” Most of them will say they it took a leap of faith. They took a chance on themselves and pushed pass their circumstances and doubts.

One of my favorite quotes is the following:

“If you want to be successful you have to jump, there’s no way around it. If you’re safe, you’ll never soar. “– Steve Harvey

So, what was holding me back all this time?

I always thought my issue was the fear of failing, rejection and growing pass those that were closest to me. I didn’t want to start something, put my all into it and have it fail miserably. I also, didn’t want to leave any one behind. I was always destined for greatness, I just needed to believe it.

I started planning my blog all the way in March of 2016. It took me 3 years to get up the courage to launch and publish my blog on March 1st, 2019. Now that I have, I wish I would’ve done it much sooner. But such is life. Everything happens for a reason. Let me ask you a few questions.

What’s holding you back from achieving your dreams, your purpose or living your life out loud? Take a moment and think. Is it dangerous? Will it cause pain? Does it cause some type of threat to your life? If not, then is it really fear that’s holding you back or is it yourself? Let that sink in.

Until next time,

D. Carter

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